Several close friends know about my mental illnesses more than others that know the basics of what I deal with. But one of the ones I deal with the most having the most arguments, have fingers pointing at me, looking like a monster is my Bipolar Disorder.
There is a great understanding of depression, people know the different levels of depression and anxiety as it is very common. The history of seizures and stroke and being an epileptic is somewhat understandable. Knowing the patterns and symptoms that lead and continue with people who suffer from stroke and seizures. But bipolar has the most realistic stigma.
Although I am not diagnosed with bipolar I have been described by doctors as suffering from bipolar and describe what is going on with myself with bipolar. It leads to mistrust within friends and family. Having drastic changes in my mood instantaneously has caused some stress and sometimes escalating situations. I wake up rather late lately around 12pm and usually take my medication around then but some days not until 3pm between that time my mood escalates while there may not be any signs or symptoms people around me are confused and feel mislead.
Sometimes some symptoms of OCD come into play to fill the time trying not to focus purely on my thoughts I need something to do. So I get up and gather laundry about 5 loads of laundry I get a little snappy to others at home. I get very serious about getting things done not letting things be put off. Anxiety builds up and cloudy thoughts are all I have. My memory is 50/50 very stuck finding words for what is happening and why. Hard to explain to others what exactly is happening. My girlfriend like for things to be clear and to the point but they’re is no one answer to what is happening. Especially during my manic episodes. I also can’t explain in the moment.
Until I get a full understanding I don’t know what’s next.
If you have a loved one who deals with any mental illness comment below some details I’d love to hear your experience and give you my support.
Thank you until next time
HirschUrMouth Productions
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